Suddenly feel like blogging again.

I don't know what to do in order to become a better girlfriend of yours. I always wish to share your burden and lessen your burden yet I increase your burden and makes you even more stressed. In terms of your work I can't help you but to lend you my listening ear and hear you whine and talk about what happened in your work. I know you wished to further your studies,I encouraged you to do it because is for Your future or rather our future.But you are worried that you got not much times spend with me or meet up. But somehow I cannot be so self centred and keep thinking of you accompany me and let such a bright future of you bid goodbye. Yes. You can study anytime you want but now you are still young , study while you can. I don't want be your stepping stones to say No to your bright future ahead. You said that if you take up the studied your feelings told you that our relationship would not work out. I don't want you because of this mindset that stop you from studying. You always worried for my future, nagging at me for not finding a proper job yet I fall onto deaf ear. You said I did not took my life seriously. You asked me what I want for my future , I said I don't know. You asked me search for an answer but what if I can't find the answer? You said you would resortt to one method by leaving me if you left with no choice. Thats really hurt me real deep. I burst into tears I didn't expected that such word comes out from you. I have never felt so hurt before. I can do nothing but cry. You want me to be independent and not rely on you, I tried to. I went alone to find job going for interview. I hate to be alone. I did tried to fulfilled every task or the things you asked me to. I did gave my best shot but still I failed. I know you don't want me to regret when I grew older. I tried to be independent too but can't you feel it ? How useless.... I just wanna be your understanding and caring girlfriend and thats all I asked for. You have been a very good boyfriends and my parent likes you. I just wanna settle down and spend the rest of my lifetime with you. But of cause we will face many obstacle along our way, I always wish that both of us will face it together but I am always the one that waiting for you to apologised to me. I don't know if in your heart I am the perfect girl for you that you want to spend the rest of your lifetime with. I felt secure with you because you are always there for me and stand up for me, and embraced me in ur arm. ilu