I went for my interview today, probably I didn't screwed up the interview also. But for transport I need to change 3 buses in order to reach my destination to work.

They offered me 1k and base on my work performance and increase, I don't know if I should take up the job. sigh*

Ruby thank for being there for me!

Thank for the concern in my tagboard.

Ruby thank for accompany me for my interviewed today.. I love you!! We went to the old fishery road it darn ulu la.. Got some uncles wave at us ! OMG!

It was an long journey so we cam-whored.

(RUBY I LOVE YOU!) MUACKS!

(whos tongues can be longer than me?)

We went causeway to walk around as we got not much places to go to and we are quite budget also.

Went cold storage to walk around, nothing much to buy until I saw cans of peppermint green tea which is benben favourite drinks. That reminds me of how I used to buy for him, without hesistation I grab 2 cans of peppermint greentea. I was afraid that he would not meet me but I didn't think any further and grab a herbal tea for him. I know he has been too stress, hoping this small little things would not make him fall sick so easily.

It was pouring heavily at causeway point, I did manage to buy his favourite fish maw soup without vingear more pepper for him and a taiwan sauage for him. I know he had been craving for fish maw soup too because there's no pasa malam opening nearby his hse. Once I reached bukit batok I walked with my fastest pace hoping I would reach his house as soon as possible.

I went to his house downstair and called him but he refused to answer my call and message me to tell me to go home. I was at the staircase, I don't know what to do but

to secrettly cry there. I felt so helpless at that time , I don't know what to do anymore.

I told him I would like to pass him things and I would go off already.

I just wanna done my part and do my best so that I won't regret.

So he agreed to meet me at his house downstairs.

I told him I don't know if I am right to make the trips here.

I just don't know why you leave me without telling me why.

I asked you why, but you avoid that question.

I'm not trying to force you or anything I just want an secure answer to my hearts. But you said you would only tell me when the time ripe. (when is the time ripe)

I don't wanna every night cry and cry to sleep and search the answer on my own.

I always told myself to hang in there,but I don't know how long I can hang in there.

You told me to get the job so that we could be together. Why! why must use my job to xchange for my love in order to be with you.

I don't know what to do anymore. You said tuesday you would meet me until your things settle, and you said you would meet me later because you on leave. But when I tried contact you , you off your handphone.

Why?

Why?

Why?

I don't know what you thinking anymore,I don't know what I should do.

When we were talking that time, I really feel like giving up by those answer and all these you give me in the first place.

I told you it was my retribution because I didn't treasure my ex-bf in the first place and took away the one I love.

I started to question myself

how much you love me?

how important am I to you? do you still love me ?

can we still go back to the past we used to have?

Can we still face each other in future?

will we have the same problem again?

I hate that whenever I wake up in the morning, I couldn't sense your presence anymore...

For you I have learnt to treasure myself and cherish everyone around me.

I know you almost teared, I can sense it.

I just wanna do things that I want to do but haven't do before, I know you had not been eating well hoping this "gift" will made your day just like you trying to make a smile on my face.

(the bag you gave me on my birthday...)